Don't Panic
by Srtgirl
Summary: Katniss is trying to pull her life back together after Prim's death. She wants to right her wrongs, but with so many wrongs to right can she do it? Will she earn forgiveness, or break his heart all over again? {AU}


**A/N; Hello everyone! This story is mostly AU and takes place towards the very end of Mockingjay and continues afterwards. Somewhere between chapters 8-10, you'll be fully aware of what I've chose to keep from the books and what I've decided to change. Story is in Katniss' POV though that may change later on. Story was inspired by the song "Miss Missing You" by Fall Out Boy. Enjoy!**

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It's been three months.  
Three months since the rebellion ended.  
Three months since I lost my beautiful little sister.  
It's two months and two weeks since I killed Coin.  
But it's been two months...Two months since I was set 'free' and sent home to district 12. 

Two months of living in this house all alone, of only eating and drinking when forced, of sitting in the rocking chair in front of the fireplace as the letters pile high around me. It's hard to imagine continuing my life without Prim. I close my eyes and imagine her smile, her laugh, the way it felt when she'd wrap her thin arms around me in an embrace filled with love and comfort. I slowly open my eyes and let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I stood slowly, my muscles protesting as I move into the hall with the intention of using the small bathroom near my unused study. I pause at the foot of the stairs and slowly lift my gaze to the top of the stairs. How long has it been since I showered? I remember showering after killing Coin, but wasn't that the last time? I shake my head to rid myself of the fogginess that fills it and slowly make my way up the staircase. 

As I step into my bedroom I'm hit with the still overwhelming smell of roses and my eyes instantly land on the vase with that single white rose, it's wilted now and yet the scent still fills my nostrils and I gag. I crawl on to my bed and move quickly over to the large window that sits above my bed and struggle with getting my fingers to work. 

"Come on, come on, come on!" I whisper frantically before the window finally budges and I'm able to open it fully. I hop off the bed as quickly as my shaky legs will allow and I grab the vase and hurry back to the window where I quickly toss it. I'm soon rewarded with the satisfying sound of it shattering to a thousand tiny pieces on the ground. I exhale and glance around my room. It's mostly unchanged, a light layer of dust covers the furniture. Well, most of the furniture. It appears to be that my bed is still perfectly clean. 

I walk into the bathroom and as I remove my clothes, I do my best to ignore the the rather large flakes of skin that cling to the garments. I avoid the elegant mirror that hangs above the sink and slip into my shower and scrub away what feels like a years worth of dirt and grim. 

I'm honestly not sure how long I stayed up stairs before I began to smell it. Food. Someone was cooking. No, not just someone, I knew better than that. It would have to be Greasy Sae. I made my way downstairs and sure enough I found her working at the stove making what appeared to be some sort of stew. 

"Glad to see you still know how to use a shower." She glanced over her shoulder at me and smiled. 

I just nodded my head and moved towards the fireplace to retrieve the many letters that had piled there, most of them from my mother. I found the oldest one, the one Haymitch had given me and after rereading it I moved towards the phone and called her. We didn't talk long and as much as I hated to admit it to myself, I was actually very thankful to hear her voice. I moved back to the dining room table and began eating as Greasy Sae started towards the front door to leave I found myself with a burning to desire to ask the one question I hadn't realized I needed the answer too. 

"Where's Gale?" 

"District Two. He has some fancy job now, I see him on television sometimes." 

"Oh." Really? That's the best I can say? Is a simple, harmless, little 'oh'. I shake my head and continue eating trying to make sense of this new information. He's gone, not gone like...like Prim. But not here, either. I pause mid-chew to wonder if he was one of the people trying to call me? I glance over at the stack of letters and decide I'll have to go through those and see if any of them are from him. I finish eating and move towards the sink and set my bowl inside. I glance out the window above the sink and find that my head is pounding, my vision a little blurry. 

_My name is Katniss Everdeen, I'm seventeen. I survived the Hunger Games, I live in District 12, which was destroyed but is being rebuilt. There was a rebellion, we won..._

I spent the rest of the day going through the letters and then, then I had a decision to make. I missed Gale, I wanted to talk to him. To let him know that I no longer blamed him for Prim's death. It might have been his bomb, but he would never have hurt Prim. And some part of me knew that she'd be disappointed if she knew I was blaming him for her death. So what to do? Do I try to call him? Write him a letter? Both seemed like terribly options. He could still be angry with me, could hang up the phone the moment he hears my voice. As for a letter, well...those things do get lost sometimes and wouldn't it be just my luck that he'd never receive it and that I'd spend the rest of my life thinking he wanted nothing to do with me? 

There. I'd made my decision. It'd be difficult, but I'd have to suck it up and find away to go and see him. Make my apology in person and maybe, just maybe he'd forgive me.


End file.
